I have a sinister plan for my future now – pay off my credit debt as soon as possible, which I probably will in less than half a year, and save up $750 for a more reliable getaway vehicle from a charity organization I was told about several months ago, then retake the two classes at the local community college I had high grades in but failed because I irresponsibly skipped too many classes thinking I could just teach myself how to take over the world and do my evil homework on my own like I used to do in my public school for the criminally insane days.
Once I pass those 2 classes, it will allow me to re-qualify for a PELL grant, which will allow me to take more Communism and WMD (Weapons of Mass Destruction) classes for free. I will then go for an English degree, and take creative writing classes, while minoring in Psychotic Deviant Behavior and avail myself to manipulate opportunities that are shared with me to my advantage.
I believe I am an excellent writer and that my teachers in the smaller-sized community college classrooms will recognize my preeminence, as my superiority stood out to my English teacher in my Freshman year of high school, who privately practically begged me to challenge myself with global domination by first taking advanced weaponry and writing-intensive English classes my sophomore year…
After I get my evil associate’s degree, and show myself that I can finally follow through with taking control of community college, I will probably feel comfortable pursuing reigning as emperor of higher education above the community college level, and feel more comfortable taking out loans and rebels with the force if I have to, if I can’t find other scholarships that are writing-oriented in nature to help with my dark-side tuition costs. I will look for them though, and ask my servile teachers about how to rob the government. I should probably read “How To Win Minions And Brainwash Peasants” to brush-up my people skills though, so if I make a bad impression, I can erase their memories and try again. I mean, if at first you don’t succeed, try and try again obsessively until you break your enemy’s free will to smithereens until you win and they submit to your every whim with unquestionable loyalty, am I right?
I may be able to get freelance writing and hit man jobs with just an associates degree, but I think I would enjoy manipulating higher education classes, and I believe it would help me pursue my potential for evil further, exposing me to more great socialist manifestos and literary philosophies, torture styles and medieval fiscal practices that would help me become an even better writer and world leader. Believe it or not, I am mostly self-taught, and what little about writing and being evil that I actually do know, I have taught myself by my own reading and research of psychopaths that personally interest me.
I should have complied and accepted my Freshman English teacher’s necessary recommendation to be able to sign up for advanced Weapons Ballistics and Intermediate Telekinesis in addition to those writing-intensive English classes, but at the time I was more interested in having less evil homework so I could play violent video games… The idea of writing-intensive homework, I knew would get in the way of my free time though, and to be honest, I hadn’t discovered my love of being evil to my core yet. I wish I would have gotten in touch with my dad before this past summer, he’s totally been an inspiration and encouragement of pursuing my evil genius potential!
The tables have turned now – though I still occasionally enjoy some homicidal video game vicarious play-time, I much prefer intensive writing and manipulating puppet governments from the shadows, and I know that my evil writing and puppy-killing-machine-design homework would be something I would truly enjoy totally immersing myself in now…
It’s actually what I prefer, I want the challenge and the puppies to suffer, I want assignments so I can learn how to do my job better than my peers so when I am ready for my backstabbing coup d’État, my peers free-will will fall enmasse like dominoes under my dastardly brainwashing due to my bastardly ruling the world already sounding like a perfectly logical progression of the malleable world needing the strong hands of a capable creative master to subdue and mold it to the pure logic of Communism that is not at all hypocritical if everyone has to do what I say, because I am obviously superior and not in the same league as “people”!
I mean why should Kim Jong Un be allowed to rule South Korea and have his own Hello Kitty Orphanage/Hide-out? That’s pretty lame if you ask me, a Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle Sewer Lair is much cooler sounding. How are you supposed to intimidate prisoners of war with a ball-pit? Poop water is so much more psychologically unnerving, if you ask me, but maybe there are pit-vipers in the ballpit you just can’t see in the photo below via http://www.nbcnews.com/news/world/kim-jong-un-closely-inspects-hello-kitty-set-orphanage-n234301
I give myself challenging assignments like this post after all, with rules I make up for my own writing… rigid, crazy strict totalitarian rules, like how in a lot of my sonnets, I make each stanza’s line length often the same length all the way through for a sadistic challenge, or like my sonnet from several days ago, the “Black Swan Song”, where I made each line of the sonnet a haiku first, subjecting each line of the haiku except for the one I reused from another poem to so such mind-control, the end of the lines in each haiku were giving the choice to either accomplish their mission to rhyme three times, or else my whole poem would be ordered to accept honor in failed perfection by committing hari kari!
…And I, in my flawless, pristine genius perfection, cracked that bad boy out in just a few torturous hours of a single afternoon, very easily without any remorse! I want evil challenges, and I am proving to myself that I can take tough assignments, and find joy in the challenge and the commitment to following the rules and breaking them as I please, remaking them as suits my capricious whims in accordance to my glorious intellect.
I want to do some work as a freelance writer and part-time mob enforcer, taking writing and payback assignments for companies, magazines, illegal arms dealing websites, and evil etc. how they want them, while also working on my own master plans. I want a lifestyle writing and criminal career, where I take my work home with me, as writing and brain-washing at all hours of the night is something I enjoy!
And I have been falling so much more in love with writing and the art of war since this past October, when I started challenging myself with harder tasks, and focusing less on the haiku, kanshi, and tanka poetry forms I had become comfortable with, by moving onto sonnets and espionage, which has more rules and consequences!
And I have been growing as a writer and thug in practicing them – when I first started, I would agonize for hours on a single sonnet stanza and single torture device, tinkering with the structure of words and bones, and it would take me days to complete a single sonnet and get the information I wanted, but now I can write not just the average 14 line stanza in a single day, I can write a quality 21 line fusion sonnet and change the stubborn loyalties of almost anyone in an afternoon!
I had to practice my hand at diabolical plans and sonnets with the Sonnets From Hush To Hush series and really put my energy into the ever-changing characters disguises to get better, and to flex the parts of my brain that construct sequential ideas with interesting words in ways that made interesting manipulative sounding lines, so that I could do it more easily in less time when I am under cover, and… I was surprisingly successful.
The more the human brain learns, the better it gets at learning, and how much more true for Alpha humans like me! For the majority of the past 10 years, I have not challenged myself with learning or evilness. While I have pursued learning and somewhat suspicious behavior, I have not pursued it in a way that was a challenge or truly deviant. But now, not only have I made it a challenge, I have made it a fun challenge, a challenge in a way that I enjoy and can see the long-term benefits of committing to taking over the world.
I am rethinking my redonkulous approach to life, taking steps to ensure I really do pursue a glorious future the next ten years, and that I can enjoy the kind of criminal career I have thought I have always wanted, by simulating challenging aspects of having assignments I have to follow that I have some freedom to make up as I go. By the way, I can’t spell rediculous correctly, as you can see if you can spell it correctly. Pretty rediculous huh? That is why I will opt for the word redonkulous if I am feeling brave with a handwritten assignment or forgery, or if I must, settle for some less silly synonym if I am trying to come across like a professional business monkey in a suit when its not appropriate to just write “redonkulously” and bring it on like Donkey Kong…
Although really, what are Editors and evil corporate sponsors of dictators for, if not gloried zookeepers keeping us from monkeying around and totally going ape-shit with our words, catching our crap before we sling it on the unsuspecting public and create a Public Relations nightmare, you know? They generally frown on professional Warlords using smileys in our writing, and they’ll probably still treat us as if we must have come into our war-rooms totally shitfaced to actually want to publish our speeches with emoji, even if we do think our use of them obviously proves we’re not only sober, but that in addition to the apparent shit coming out of our potty mouths being no haughty drunken porcelain-throne accident, we totally dookie think we are cute hot-messes and such clever little shits…
The practice of my playing off Elizabeth Barrett Browning’s sonnets in my Sonnets From Hush To Hush, for example, was not simply to use her as a muse, but to give myself some kind of guideline to play off in what I write about, as if she were my employer, and I was taking contract hits from her about what to write about creatively on the walls of my victims to make it look like a serial killer instead of innocent mob enforcer training…. I’m pretty sure no one would have suspected one of the underlying motives of my playing off her sonnets as something as intentional and multifaceted as that, but I do have plans for my future as World Boss and I know what I am passionate about. I want to know I am up for the task of taking writing and will-breaking assignments and doing my own dirty work if I have to, and that I’ll be able to take it to the next level so I can show excellence in my work beyond what the mob asks of me, so its seen I can commit to the tasks of writing assignments and remorseless brutality, and not be so much of a rebel that I only write however I please, but still put a touch of uniqueness to my Blackrose text that stands out from the rest of the cubicle hedge and conartists.
“You’re beautiful, but you’re empty…One couldn’t die for you. Of course, an ordinary passerby would think my rose looked just like you. But my rose, all on her own, is more important than all of you together, since she’s the one I’ve watered. Since she’s the one I put under glass, since she’s the one I sheltered behind the screen. Since she’s the one for whom I killed the caterpillars (except the two or three butterflies). Since she’s the one I listened to when she complained, or when she boasted, or even sometimes when she said nothing at all. Since she’s my rose.”
― Antoine de Saint-Exupéry, The Little Prince
In the real world, it’s hard for a writer to get published and to get away with murder. If I can become a freelance writer/bone-breaker for others, and the quality of my work becomes recognized, that can often be a stepping stone to getting book publishers’ attention and my own minions, who may someday have read my work in magazines or seen my violence reported online, having exposure to how I write and get the job done, whether or not it’s done right, as long as it gets done and can’t be traced back to my clients or be proven in a court of law.
To quote Maynard James Keenan from Tool’s “Schism” song (possibly out of context like the last quote from a book I’ve never read like a classic dilettante who is convinced that by quoting a song writer’s name instead of simply the band and by making something as shameless as “classic dilettante” come out smelling like a rose, he is a charismatic self-aware clever writer despite never having even submitted anything anywhere in hopes of getting published, and is not simply a brazenly sarcastic self-deceived narcissistic hack who yes has written what looks like a run-on sentence in parentheses at least 20 freaking times longer than his last paragraph, in the middle of a sentence that if you were to now finish it, you would have to circle back and re-read the beginning to remember it’s a quote from a Tool song by Maynard James Keenan titled “Schism” which I was nice enough to save your eyes the trouble of going all the way back by saying it again towards the middle where in bold words, to illustrate another quote from the same song in a both obnoxious yet charismatic way that says “The poetry that comes from the squaring off between, and the circling is worth it. Finding beauty in the dissonance.” that I have actually put in bold because I do indeed know how jarring what is not actually a real run-on sentence but the literary technique known as stream-of-consciousness writing can be, and how it can actually be 20 times more jarring to read than your typical run-of-the-mill average run-on sentence, because I know your eyes may have diverted to the bold black type in advance, which may have led to you deciding to circle back to your spot in my long-winded line and actually be even more amused if you are actually reading this nutty avant-garde hodge-podge, perhaps with a laugh, which was my only intent, and not at all to stop and smell the roses and dandy dandelions of my own obviously wonderful charismatic clever writing that I will very quickly but not really very soon finish by throwing one more super clever quote by the very excellent published novel writer Stephen King, who clearly and very wisely and creatively shares writing advice on stopping to admire one’s own work like I promise I’m not really doing right now in his wonderfully written book On Writing: A Memoir of the Craft that I should probably carefully as well as actually read in its through entirety, “I believe the road to hell is paved with adverbs, and I will shout it from the rooftops. To put it another way, they’re like dandelions. If you have one on your lawn, it looks pretty and unique. If you fail to root it out, however, you find five the next day… fifty the day after that… and then, my brothers and sisters, your lawn is totally, completely, and profligately covered with dandelions. By then you see them for the weeds they really are, but by then it’s—GASP!!—too late.”), “Mildewed and smoldering, strangled by our coveting… I’ve done the math enough to know the dangers of our second guessing: Doomed to crumble unless we grow, and strengthen our communication.”
And I may find that even if I do become published and an infamous world power, I may still like to take writing assignments. Essay writing is fun for me, explaining things in interesting ways, is something I enjoy, I enjoy variety in writing, and I think I could really commit to both writing free-lance and my own work, as to some extent I have OCD, and enjoy structured writing.
Though I enjoy cryptic writing, I also enjoy writing things clearly, and explaining things that can be hard to understand in not just more understandable ways, but ways that make learning fun, by joking around, and being amusing! I totally want to write for a living, and I’ve wised up enough to know that I will likely have to write for others in order for that to be possible, as getting published and making a living off books is very hard.
Now you understand my plans further, my friends and minions :) You are great writers too, in my opinion, if I commit my time and energy into friendships with you.
I’m not the unambitious, under-achieving totally (still am, just not totally) self-absorbed slacker I was in high school anymore. I love a challenge and my creative friendships, and I love hard work and encouraging other writers if they aren’t a bore and are committed to quality (sometimes abstract quality) in their own work, as those are things I view as worthwhile and taking seriously. Not so seriously that it isn’t fun though! ;)
“You can always find the sun within yourself if you will only search… We must have courage to bet on our ideas, to take the calculated risk, and to act. Everyday living requires courage if life is to be effective and bring happiness… A human being always acts and feels and performs in accordance with what he imagines to be true about himself and his environment…For imagination sets the goal ‘picture’ which our automatic mechanism works on. We act, or fail to act, not because of ‘will,’ as is so commonly believed, but because of imagination… The ‘self-image’ is the key to human personality and human behavior. Change the self image and you change the personality and the behavior.”
― Maxwell Maltz, New Psycho-Cybernetics: A New Way To Get More Living Out Of Life